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My first experiences at JB Hunt didn’t have a fair chance. I struggled seeing how I was living a life of purpose. It wasn't that I was purposeless, but just that working behind a desk wasn't what I had originally wanted to do for years on end. However, I always knew that I could succeed at whatever I did. And I knew that JB Hunt could be a place for me to really grow, succeed, and be rewarded. As the time fell off the clock and the days quickly passed by, I began to become more accepting of my role at Hunt. I wanted to be recognized for my hard work and integrity. I wanted to be acknowledged. And I was.
So, when the offer came to move to Cleveland, OH and use the skills that I had already acquired to grow even more and expound on my abilities, I knew that I could not let that opportunity pass me by. I mean, what’s not to love about that potentially exciting opportunity; a new environment on my own, independence, career growth potential, and more money. After spending two weeks thinking, praying, and seeking counsel I told JB Hunt that if they wanted me to move I would gladly go. And at that point, I was ready.
SIDEBAR-When initially presented in the summer of 2010 with the opportunity to go to Bethlehem the following fall I almost sensed immediately that I should go. I had been pursuing teaching before with no success and had wanted to follow what I was gifted and passionate about. I told Terry Rhodes that I would probably go with the understanding that further prayer would need to confirm that. Weeks passed and I wasn't praying much about Bethlehem, which surprised me a bit.
One day in the car, on the way to work, I was praying. It was at that time that I thought about the fears of raising support, the fear of leaving a job that I had just acquired, and the fear that my family wouldn't understand and would ultimately look down on me with disapproval. Furthermore, the reality that I would leave my brother, whom I love spending time with and watching God pour into his life, was hard to swallow. God made clear to me that all three were fleshly fears that at the deepest, rawest level uttered, "I dont have faith in God. I will not follow. My life is my own now."
I began to make subtle compromises. "I'm doing good things here. I volunteer in church ministry. I am starting to work more with the worship team at church. And JB Hunt is even recognizing me more and more and I believe that God is going to allow me to have a successful ministry in business."
A month or so later I emailed Terry and told him I would not be joining the team in Bethlehem because I was being called to stay at home and continue the things that I was already doing. (false mask)
(Back to Cleveland offer, Nov. 2010) I must point out that I had been told that had I moved away for a few years and knocked this project out of the park, I would be handsomely rewarded. I did not object. And gradually my mind started to ponder the large purchases I would soon be making- a big screen TV, a Blu Ray player, surround sound, possibly a new truck, a house in the future. And I was fine with that. I welcomed that. God had given me a platform at work and why not use that to bring him Glory.
In January, I made plans to go to Cleveland to visit the customer with 5 other JB Hunt professionals and help seal the deal on my new opportunity.
Before I left, I met with a couple of really close friends, Kevin and Jen Perrine. They sadly informed me that they thought my recently made decision was not the right one. They asked me to pray that God would close doors that weren’t meant for me to walk through. But, they also asked that I pray that the right doors would be opened. I didn’t know what to do with this newly acquired perspective.
So, I began to pray in all humility. I prayed as they had encouraged me. My initial reaction, and a natural tendency for me, was to act irrationally and walk in and inform the project manager that I would have to return my plane tickets and decline the offer they submitted. Call it the freak out mode, if you will. And my stomach started to churn. Then, as clear as I know, I heard God's voice spoken to my heart, "Don't do anything. You have already accepted the job. You don't need to act irrationally. Even though you made this decision in your flesh, I can still trump that and reverse whatever you have done if I want you to take a different route."
PEACE filled my heart. I was longer worrying about the outcome because it was no longer up to me! It was similar to a phrase I had heard before but slightly tweeked, "You got yourself into that mess but I can get you out." So, with nothing else to do but wait on God, I finished my day at work and kept praying for God's direction.
And then I pursued Cleveland, knowing that I had already accepted their offer and could not turn back. In the back of my mind I knew that God could close the door that would lead me to Ohio, but I had been told that the account would be ours and there wasn’t much we could do to lose it. The day after I boarded a plane to Cleveland.
Our time in the Midwest was short lived and filled with battle plans and strategic structuring in order for the customer to see how we could greatly increase their business. However, God’s plans were greater and He knew that He would have to close that door or else I would be walking through it. And He did. I came back the next day to Arkansas with a feeling that we would not gain the business, and an even deeper feeling of uncertainty that maybe I was not in the right life path, that maybe my time at JB Hunt was expiring and I needed to change directions. But with no clear direction, I was clueless, but hopeful.
I flew back early Saturday morning. At church the next Sunday (January 2011) I ran into a familiar friend whose offer in the pizza joint 6 months earlier I had refused. “What are your plans for lunch? Will you join my family and I at our home?” I accepted. Over a meal, He encouraged me to pray hard and be very certain that God was not asking me to follow Him to Bethlehem. With a new skepticism in my recent decision making abilities I decided that I better respect his advice and at least give more thought to what he was saying. He had said that four separate friends from church had come up to him and suggested that he talk to me about teaching at his school in Bethlehem. When he informed them all that I had already declined the opportunity in Bethlehem they asked him to approach me again. And he did. And he was. And I listened. I wasn’t going to make a huge decision based on what others thought God was telling me, but I could not discount the fact that not one, two, or three people had mentioned it, but four. Four separate individuals.
I returned home that Sunday afternoon with a renewed vision. It was as if I knew then what God was asking. All my confusion and fears were abandoning me. And at that time, as I reconsidered where my life was headed, everything became clear. And I knew that God was calling me in a different direction.
I revisited my three fears that kept me from saying yes before-raising support, quitting a job; security, and family approval. Supernaturally, all my fears became minimal. All my reservations paled. God was showing me His greatness and His Glory! On that day, looking down the path of my life and on into the future, I made a commitment to God that I would follow with my life, no matter the cost, what others would think, or even what I would doubt and question. At the crossroads, as a 29 year old man, God was showing me a life of FAITH that I would know and have, that I would taste and see.
That is where I find myself today. He is calling me to pursue my passions and my gifts. He is calling me to use those to passionately serve Him in Bethlehem where I will have the opportunity to teach, disciple, use my musical abilities in worship, and teach ultimate frisbee, all while connecting with Palestinians. And I am joyful!
I will leave in mid August. My place is already waiting. I have a new home halfway across the globe with a new community of believers. Some I know, some I dont. I will be teaching Math and Bible to junior high and high school students, as well the opportunity to disciple young men of the faith. It will be a challenging time for me and the others. More than likely, things will not come naturally. But one thing I know, God is working there in Bethlehem to bring the lost to Himself. And I get to be a part of that.
To most people, this change will not make sense. I know that. But, in my thinking, I will be doing something that I have wanted to do, something I feel gifted to take part in, and most importantly, something that I believe God is nudging me towards. And I pray that He will use me to form relationships as I leverage my life for His work.
So, I must go...
jmh
