"Should I Stumble Again, Still I'm Caught in Your Grace"

   Its amazing how one line from a song can change your thinking about a certain thing or about a particular person. The above line, taken from a popular worship song today, has been wedged in the corner of my mind, only to be recalled when the same song is sung again. Its the part of the whole song that I look forward to, the part that reveals a new thought for me.

   Working my way backwards, I have always known about grace, mentally, but I have lacked in fully experiencing the word spiritually, in a heartfelt way. Intellectually, I could tell you what grace really was. But, if you looked into my life it would hardly be found. Grace was a one-time transaction that took place on the day of my Salvation. Of recently, grace is being shown to me in a new way, in a new light.

   For the better part of my life I have lived with what I will call a perfectionistic, legalist mentality. My goal in life was to be as good as possible, managing a few "minor sins" along the way, and confessing anything major that occurred. The problem came with "major sins"--the label that my mind made up to distinguish tolerable sins and intolerable, and thus proving to you how messed up my thinking really was, and partly, still is. Shortly after a "major sin" occurrence, I would carry the burden of guilt and enter into a motionless period, in which I neither continued in sin, nor pursued anything holy. In logic, I believed that I had to "serve my time" for the sin that I had committed by remaining trapped in guilt and tormented by the lies of the lingering Enemy, usually lasting anywhere from one to two weeks. On earth, it makes sense. In the heavenly realm, another truth rings louder and clearer. Jesus Christ died several years ago so that I would not have to live with guilt. And again, there it is...

"I am caught in Your grace"

   I love the sound those words produce. I am caught...stuck, hooked, trapped...I cannot find myself on the outside of grace. What a glorious thing! My thoughts have been transformed. My life, from the inside out, is being transformed.

   
   I have begun to question why all these years I have struggled with guilt when God has offered something so sweet--grace. Hear me, I do not lighten the weight of sin, but I only recognize the power, love, and sovereignty of our mighty Savior. It is now that I desire to continue in grace, striving towards perfection (Phil. 3), confessing my sin quickly (1 John 1:9), and time and time again finding myself woven into the threads of grace. I rebuke the legalistic enemy, and I cling to the promise of my Father. ..

"Should I stumble again, still I'm caught in Your grace"

jmh